Optimal urinal numbers

I had a day at the races on Saturday. It wasn't a big race day such as the Melbourne Cup or Golden Slipper but it did draw a largish crowd. Visiting the little boys room numerous times it became apparent that the usage was at precisely the wrong level. Not empty enough that you could find a quite place on your own but not full enough that it was a big match environment. There was always enough room to step up but not enough room to fit in comfortably. I found myself caught in the urinal no mans land. Half time at the Rugby your expected to form a queue, swash in and be shoulder to shoulder with the guy next to you as shown in the picture above. From my observations I can conclude that, for me at least, 1 meter spacing is precisely the wrong gap.

Anyone keen for a commune in the south of France?

The idea of a $500,000 mortgage scares me. 30 years is a long time people. How does the idea of Buying a farmhouse with a few acres and a whole lot of charm in the south of France sound? Surrounded by vineyards, 30 mins from Biarritz, 90 mins from the Pyrenees ski resorts and smack bang in the middle of Frances Rugby heartland.

This little puppy caught my eye, classic old school farm house with connecting barn. It has plenty of room for propagating flora and fauna and even has a few acres of vines.

Bags be in charge of Honey (with Nat) and veggies.

Other vacancies;
Brewer, Spiritual leader and Local Mission Leader, wine maker, IT (incl web assistance), Animal husbandry (I reckon I could take care of this too but might need help with the Lambing) head Chef, machinery supervisor, irrigation engineer and what farm would be complete without a milk maid.

Ok so it might not be realistic right now but I leave you with these thoughts

"oh yes, it will be mine" - Wayne, Waynes World, c 1992

" folks don't have the taste for sheep balls much anymore" - Bar tender, Funny Farm, c 1988

Interesting Bee Fact - Three

The common honeybee is found worldwide and consists of a number of races or subspecies.
These races vary in their nature. Italian bees are generally gentle creatures, whereas German bees are aggressive. This friendly guy must be Italian. Also a belated but warm welcome to the Shags in my links list.

Tales from the mountains

www.natbartle.com has now officially been updates with the sad tale of woe that was our weekend.

Interesting Bee Fact - Two

Bees only ever collect pollen from the same type of plant in a single collection run. God's way of making sure things get pollinated. Pretty cool hey.

For more info on our devastating weekend of fighting for our bees survival see www.natbartle.com

First Fruits

OK so it's not exactly my first fruits as my champion little strawberry plants and beans have sporadically give me some love but my first full harvest is just around the corner! I don't understand the instinct that has driven me to not only cultivate my own veggies but also to give bee keeping a crack. I have two theories.

Theory 1 - I suspect the belated fears of Y2k or the impending threat of nuclear holocaust I read about in Z for Zachariah as a young lad have planted a seed in me that has grown to a full blown desire to at least be equipped for self sufficient should I be the last man on earth. (not the only irrational fear I harbour but unlikely to be the cause)

Theory 2 - More than likely I think my desire is born of a need to create and nurture, to build and see the work of my hands. My father left the corporate hierarchy to pursue a riskier yet more rewarding small business where he was able to ply his trade, something I have always admired. No doubt I have inherited his same need to create and his project based gratification. Leads me to question why I didn't follow in his footsteps, oh well.

Whatever the cause I have found tilling the soil, laying out my garden, providing my plants with nutrients, mulch, water (on Wednesdays and Sundays) eradicating pests and waiting in anticipation has been a relaxing and rewarding experience. It's also been fascinating to see that there is a special bond amongst gardeners of all levels. Billabong summed it up best with "only a surfer knows the feeling". Whilst I refrain from comparing the value of each hobby I'm glad to say I now know both the surfing AND the gardening feeling.

Anyway if you too survive the nuclear holocaust and you don't mind eating veggies and honey then come over to my place and we will drive up to Byron. Will be nice to have the pass to ourselves! Ev

Reliability isn't everything

Looking through some old photos I came across the photos I used to sell my VW Type 3 Station wagon. I lost count of the times I had to push start the little bugger. It certainly was a whole lot wetter, mouldier, slower, fuel consuming, smellier, louder, high maintenance and more likely to have a wheel fly off at 80 than my current chariot but where do we draw the line? Like a writer who gains inspiration from an old typewriter, a builder whose tools have stood the test of time, there is something about her that transcends common sense, she was a good car. I'm alone in my time of need... yet I remind myself, she's gone to a better place, to someone who knows more about cars than key goes in here, petrol goes in there.

Now that I have got that off my chest I can go to bed in peace

"I should have told her every day, because she was perfect every day." Liam Neeson Love actually c 2003

Interesting Bee Fact - One

Interesting fact: the ratio of workers to drones in a bee hive is 1.618, or Phi. It's the same as the ratio of your total height to the distance from your belly button to your toes, which is the same as the ratio of the diameters of each subsequent row of seeds in a sunflower. The Golden Ratio makin' me some golden honey!

"To King Mark and Yseult"

I always feel a little awkward when taking part in semi interactive theatre. It probably stems from being embarrassed by mum enthusiastically clapping and dancing in time with all the other mums at Barker school productions....

Anyway last night my years of abstaining from crowd involvement caught up with me. My demise came swiftly and with great embarrassment to me but great delight to Nat, Syv and Matt. "OI you there, the bald guy in the white T-shirt" There was no looking around there was no hiding the play had stopped the cast had frozen and the craziest of them all (see picture) was pointing squarely at me (as were the 800 sets of eyes filling the Seymour Centre) "You didn't toast the King! Stand up" I stood there sheepishly, tail between my legs, waiting for my punishment. The rest of his rant has already been erased from my memory but I'm sure there was something about respect and me being too good the toast the king. "right because of you we are all going to do it again and I'll be watching you"

"To Mark and Yseult"

True to his promise he kept watching. From that point on I did as I was told.

http://sydneyfestival.org.au/event.asp?e=7

Anyway it was a bloody good play (literally) and it's on for a few weeks so go see it and don't toast the King ; )

What was I thinking

Before you get the clippers out to give yourself a fashion mullet consider the humble undercut. I was a victim of the undercut in the early 90's and it has scarred me for life. You know the one, kind of like a bowl but the shaved bit is higher than the bowl line giving a more defined line. In my mind the coolest way to administer the undercut was to enhance the contrast by shaving as close as possible. Having never seen the sun before my skin had a nice white glow drawing unwanted attention to my hair faux pas.

I think the main cause of fashion victims is failure to comprehend the nature of "cool". What is cool to me is not necessarily cool to others. Moreover what is cool now will most certainly be uncool very soon. It has taken me some time to grasp these concept. I now avoid the ultra cool.

So if your considering a fashion mullet you may also wish to consider getting yourself some fluro gear (see photo), happy pants, a Kuta lines top, a hypercolour T-shirt, leg warmers, ripped stonewash jeans or even the humble undercut.

Communicative Stages

How have we digressed from actually talking to each other to reading about each others lives on the internet? I can remember numerous communicative stages throughout my short life, Phone, Fax, MSN messenger (the pinnacle of year 11 - 2nd year uni spading), Text and now this. I have never really been a fan of alternative forms of communication (with the exception of elite circle crew faxes) but something about blogging has drawn me in. My blogging friends, particularly GP, AY, Dicko, Tubby and Le Forts (when in action) keep a loyal following sane at work, I hope I can repay the favour by providing you with the occasional distraction.

So, as a suitable substitute to talking, I say Blog on!